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My guitar teacher, B., said something to me in a recent lesson that’s been rattling around in my brain ever since, “If you go slow while you practice, fast will happen. Fast is something that you don’t even have to put effort into.”

Mind. Blown.

How many times have I rushed things? Or tried to push things versus letting them happen or just accepting that some things take time? I see it all over my life. And I see it’s fingerprints all over my relationships with men.

I wanted to get married partly because it was time (and I was with a really good man, which is no small thing… but it was also time). The three real, or real-ish, relationships I’ve had since my divorce were rushed. I wanted to get past the uncomfortable beginning as quickly as possible so I could just be in the relationship and know that it was a relationship.

Like, playing guitar, I want to just be able to play the song… I’m not so interested in being in the uncomfortable space of wondering if I can do it, sounding terrible, and maybe failing. But, if you go slow, fast will happen.

It takes time to get to the good stuff. Just ask the owl eating the Tootsie Pop…

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